That's my dog!
Dog pictured is not my dog. She's just a friend
“What brings you in today?”
“Me?”
“No, your dog.”
“Oh.” I looked down at the mutt. “He’s got worms.”
“Worms.” The man behind the counter at the vet muttered to himself. He typed into his computer. “Worms.”
He gestured for me to take a seat in the waiting room. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”
“Me?” I asked again.
“He’ll see you first, then Fito over here.”
“His name is not Fito.”
“My chart says…” He checked the computer, many taps occurred. “Yeah, my chart says Fito.”
I looked down at Rex. Rex looked up at me. We both felt confused.
“His name is Rex.” I told the man.
“That’s odd, because Jamie is normally on desk here, and she’s really, she’s really, she’s an accurate bookkeeper.”
I starred at the wood panelled walls. “Really?” I asked.
“Would I lie?” He tapped some more on his keys.
I looked back down at the dog, my dog— Rex. “What?” I thought to myself. Rex seemed just as confused as I was.
“Can you change it?” I asked the man.
“Change?” He looked off in the distance. He bit his lip, scratched his eyebrow, and rubbed his forefinger over his gums. “Obviously.”
“Obviously.” I mocked to myself. I looked down at Rex. I tugged at his leash a bit. He came closer. He looked pleased.
“I am going to need some identification.”
“Mine?”
“The dog’s.”
“Oh.”
“Dog identification, it’s simple really.”
“No, I understood.” Rex looked up at me. He was brown, shaggy, and the size of a fat child. He licked the side of my trousers. “Good boy.” I reached down and scratched behind his ears.
“Something basic.” The man began chewing on his nails. “A collar would suffice.”
“You’ve got one of those don’t you boy.” I plucked his collar free, then stood up. “You’ve got one of those don’t you— Fred?”
The man grabbed the collar from me. “Fred?” He said to himself. “I don’t got shit for a dog named Fred.”
“Oh.” I looked down at Fred, squinting slightly. “Yeah, maybe I do need to sober up.”
REMINDER
“Oh Pseudolus!” August 5th and 6th, @9pm, The Cockpit (London).
Tickets are not yet available, but fundraising is till ongoing!
DONATE HERE (It’s a GoFundMe)